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Bainton Gray Mystery

MissQuin 12 Nov 10 at 3:28 p.m. GMT

Ok to those are new, my short story. A recap from the previous story here:

http://www.agathachristie.com/forum/have-your-say/miscellaneous/the-churchyard-mystery/

Bainton Gray and The Secret Of Tryphena Salt.

“So you see, I have very little contact with my cousin Stephen now”

Bainton was sitting in a stuffy sitting room. Opposite him sat a dour faced woman Miss Jane Stow. Next to her sat the object of Bainton’s affection, her pretty niece, Cordelia Fortescue.

Since his rakish cousin played a joke on Miss Stow, her feelings towards the Gray family had soured. Bainton knew the key to winning Cordeila’s hand in marriage, was through Miss Stow. But the formidable lady had one task for him. An acquaintance of hers, a widow Mrs Salt and her daughter, were in need of new hats. But both women could be a little…difficult. They wanted an entire hat shop to themselves. That way they need not mingle with anyone else. Bainton was willing to comply to this, if it brought him into good favour. He patted his damp forehead and looked over at his adored Cordelia. She was too deep in thought.

“Bainton, I’d be quite wary of Tryphena. I’ve heard..”

Aunt Jane hushed her and told not to gossip. Bainton took his leave. Once outside he took in a deep gasp of lovely icy cold, refreshing air.

So the day arrived when the ladies would arrive. Bainton adjusted his face into a welcoming smile. He was quite taken back when he met Tryphena Salt face to face. She wasn’t beautiful. No. But there was something attractive about her. Yet she was very pale. But her eyes were hauntingly lovely. Her mother Mary must have been beautiful once. But now she looked haggard. She wore a large cross around her neck. The ladies seemed very amiable, until a disagreement over a bonnet began.

“No, no my dear. It doesn’t suit your colouring, or the shape of your head.” Mary said

Tryphena flew into a towering rage, her mother responded by ordering for her silence. Bainton rather startled, soothed both ladies and made suggestions to other hats which they both bought. Mary hurried outside to fetch the coachman to carry their belongings. Bainton was left alone with Tryphena and he was aware of her staring at him very intently. He was quite used to ladies gazing at his attractive features, but Miss Salt’s gaze was different. Tryphena spoke to him in a strange voice

“I believe you know how the human mind works. You dealt with our quarrel so finely. I’m deeply sorry about-the outburst. It’s mother you see. She brings out the worst in me. Can you help me? I’m scared of.. scared.. “ She broke off suddenly, she looked round out of the shop window and gasped.

“I SAW SOMEONE AT THE WINDOW!

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go_leafs_nation 23 Nov 10 at 4:44 p.m. GMT

It flowed nicely together, I guess. I don't really have a nice cut-and-dry answer.

HarleyBarley 23 Nov 10 at 2:42 p.m. GMT

Oh, it's the Ellery Queen. I've heard about that, but I've never encountered it in the abbreviated form!

Well, just wondering. I was curious about what your solution was, but you didn't want to reveal it and kept it to yourself (and Miss Quin, of course). If I may ask, why didn't you PM the critiques and post the solution?

go_leafs_nation 23 Nov 10 at 1:13 p.m. GMT

EQMM is one of the legendary mystery magazines-- Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine.

I PM'ed my thoughts because I gave general advice on mystery writing, and also critiqued parts of the solution, and did not want to seem like I was being a total grouch or that I was trying to hog the thread and turn it into an authors' forum. (I also kept most of my solution to myself, only providing one leap of logic.)

HarleyBarley 23 Nov 10 at 7:38 a.m. GMT

EQMM? Apologies, but I'm not familiar with that term. Care to explain?

And by the way, go_leafs, why did you PM your thoughts and solution instead of post it here?

go_leafs_nation 22 Nov 10 at 7:22 p.m. GMT

I'm rather focused on my other tale, to be honest. I've been taking a long time with it, so hopefully it turns out well, but we can only wait and see. But one of the people who took a look at my orignial copy and made suggestions also suggested that I send it to EQMM, which I think I'll do. That's why I'm even more careful to take my time.

HarleyBarley 22 Nov 10 at 2:04 p.m. GMT

Ah, yes. Good ol' Butler. Perhaps he can come up with something. I wonder what became of his detective - he had a French name, but one which presently eludes me.

MissQuin 22 Nov 10 at 9:57 a.m. GMT

Not something I wish to think about in my present state (shudders). We'll see if Butler has something ready for us to read.

HarleyBarley 22 Nov 10 at 4:48 a.m. GMT

I've heard about the vmpire legend. It's funny how they used to picture vampires as dark-skinned, healthy-looking (if a bit bloated) and plump, while today's society tends to picture them as pale and sickly-looking. Apparently the first idea of their appearance was because when they dug out the "vampire's" grave, that's the state in which the corpse is found. Nowadays, we know that in a certain stage of decomposition, the body indeed looks that way - I shan't go into detail as to why and how, though.

To leave the macabre, go_leafs, chance writing a story any time soon?

go_leafs_nation 22 Nov 10 at 1:50 a.m. GMT

I sent you my opinions via PM again, MissQuin.

Geez, I've been working on that one story for a long time. I wrote one draft, and was unsatisfied with the way everything got cluttered by the end, so I've been rewriting it. It's a laborious process.

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 2:50 p.m. GMT

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I'm really glad you enjoyed it Harley. I was worried people would think it was unfair. I'm ill at the moment but I crawled out of bed to go online, as I did sort of promise the story at the weekend. The November bug strikes as always. Forgive any spelling mistakes, my minds addled with it.

Yes, I heard about the laugauge of fans. There's secret flutters to your sweetheart and what have you.

I love McGuffin and it was a joke but also just as I love Hitchcock. But also the fact Alice wasn't invloved at all, her art in the events have no bearing on the plot whatsoever. I'll will try write one more BG but after that, I don't know. We'll see.

On another darker subject there was an old legend that if suicides were buried in ordinary churchyards, their destioned to became vampires. Later it seemed to move onto the idea of restless spirits. There really were quite a few suicide cover ups because of different beliefs.

The very end was hard to think of, I didn't want it to end on a really gloomy note. Because it's not in Mr Gray's character to be sad for long, he's a survivour. I should know, I wrote him that way!

HarleyBarley 21 Nov 10 at 11:08 a.m. GMT

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Well executed, Miss Quin! Quite an explanation indeed. I've once toyed with the idea of a murder being not quite a murder before, but here once you presented it to me I could not see it. And you did it masterfully!

McGuffin? I knew that one, but I thought you were only putting it in as an easter egg of sorts - you know, some sort of in-joke. The fan deluded me because indeed, lots of Victorian ladies prance around with fans everywhere - some say they even invented a language with it! The gun cleaning accident was an obvious one, but I just didn't connect the dots.

Again, another excellent work from our dear Miss Quin.

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 9:41 a.m. GMT

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Alice's cat’s name Mcguffin is just that, have a look what it means.

The title “The Secret Of Tyrpehna Salt- no one did actually guess what her secret might be.

Gun cleaning accident- how many people have actually died as a result of cleaning a gun? It’s often a cover up for murder or suicide. Because why clean a loaded gun?! Plus if you have servants why clean things yourself?

The window and being followed were paranoia, there was no one there. If it had been her mother at the winodw it would be difficult to have a long skirted, Victorian lady in all her finery and corsets and rush about peeping at windows.

Maud is a very odd poem the speaker is in a state of terrible emotional confusion, but Try’s brother wasn’t killed by another it just meant he caused her own distressed state of mind. “For one that will never be mine” she’s thinking of Charles. Then “A cry for a brother’s blood, it will ring in my heart and my ears til I die” “We are not worthy to live.” The poem ends with “bury me, bury me” and the story is about death, funerals and religion. But poetry is something very individual, why a particular person is drawn to a poem is part of who they are. But if a poem reference is important enough to burn, you might guess it had some bearing on the plot.

Try’s tantrum in the shop and over excitement at Bainton coming were mood swings.

Try went in the kitchen and had a knife to kill herself. The upper classes rarely visited kitchens. If they did they had a reason to visit there.

The fan- why would someone cover their face? If you can’t see them you can’t see how they feel.

Anyway, it's now somone else's turn to write a story!

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 9:34 a.m. GMT

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Bainton summed up “A verdict of suicide would mean she’d be buried in unconsecrated ground. Away from her family and from God. I understand the pain this brings you. Tryphena has now been buried and now she will remain there at peace. But Try wouldn’t want Charles to hang, she loved him.

Mary drew herself up. Her face was grim but she was prepared to face the consequences.

Bainton felt saddened at the end of these events. But it taught him that life could be far too short. He mustered the courage to ask for Cordelia’s hand in marriage. His proposal was accepted. Bainton actually managed to sneak Cordelia away from her chaperone and be alone. As they embraced under the starry sky Bainton felt elated.

Later on Bainton gallantly agreed to make her Aunt Jane a hat. Not just any hat, but the finest one ever.

The End

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 9:33 a.m. GMT

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“When you went outside on that fateful night, you came back. Your actions were strange, you kept your fan in front of your face. Why hide your face? You weren’t hiding from a person. So what else can you hide except your feelings? At a social gathering you should look happy, so to hide your features must mean you were the opposite. Is it because you found your daughter dead? I think she was lying dead on the gazebo floor, which is why Charles couldn’t see her from the house. When you came indoors your face was covered to hide your grief. But you had to tell no-one. The knife… you could have hid that up your sleeve. What was the letter Mrs Salt? Please, please tell me, because Try asked me for help. I feel I’ve failed her and..” Bainton’s voice shook then.

He pulled himself together and continued:

“You would rather have the man your daughter loved hang for this?”

Mary looked at him and saw the pain in his grey eyes and found her burden too much to bear. Her daughter had written that she couldn’t carry on with her life. She’d quoted Tennyson’s Maud several times, the strange disordered speaker, talking of death over and over. Try believed she was followed wherever she went, it was unbearable. She thought Charles was good, but now she knew he did not love her. He told her his secret. One most shocking to her, who he spent his time with in London. She’d missed David, he was her equal, he understood her. She ended with goodbye.

Mary cried a good deal. She said she’d give her soul for her children to be in Heaven. She had destroyed the letter just as she had with her son David’s note.

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 9:32 a.m. GMT

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Bainton responded

“Charles could not know every place Try visited and follow her there.”

He waited until Mary sobs subsided.

“David died in a way that made people think something was amiss. Didn‘t Try miss him? Because you were in mourning for him, but she wasn‘t.”

Mary replied in a heavy voice:

“Try loved her brother dearly, but she said she didn’t need to wear black to show her pain. She wasn’t one to follow conventions of society.

Bainton was not getting far. He mentioned Charles again. Mary’s face hardened.

“Charles handsome fellow. He seemed to like me a great deal. I wouldn’t have thought stabbing his style at all.. I know he’s sad over Try’s death, but not heartbroken. Not like a man in the grip of love. He said that he couldn’t see Try sitting in the gazebo when he looked outside and I believe him.”

“STOP. No more Mr Gray. Please. Please leave.”

Bainton knelt down before her. He gazed into her eyes. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eye.

MissQuin 21 Nov 10 at 9:31 a.m. GMT

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Bainton pondered at when Tryphena said she saw the person at the window. There hadn’t been anyone there.

Bainton paid a call to his intended, Cordelia and her Aunt. They told him about David and how he had been very much like his sister Try. He had rather peculiar outbursts and his behaviour could be most unbecoming at times. He had often been sad and slumped into fits of melancholia His death had been very odd. The gun was with him when he died. It was suggested by one of the maids, that he may have taken his own life. The maid was promptly given notice. But is mother insisted his demeanour had been most cheerful on that fateful day.

　Bainton went to see Mary Salt. She sat shrouded in jet black mourning, large cross hanging from her neck, bible in her hand. She told Bainton that her daughter had been buried last week There was a small plot which the Salt family owned. It was important that she was buried with her family.

Bainton sensed something in Mary’s manner, like something was being held back. Bainton began:

“Your daughter told me she was followed wherever she went. But I saw no-one when she said she had."

Mary cried, she shook her head. She was distraught she uttered one word “Charles”

HarleyBarley 19 Nov 10 at 2:17 p.m. GMT

Well, for me, that's because I tend to forget titles, to be honest. I forgot it's about Tryphena's secret.

MissQuin 19 Nov 10 at 2:04 p.m. GMT

I'm interested that no one has wondered about the title and what it's meaning may be....

I love Oscar Wilde, I'm sure he'd hate my story and work it out in 10 seconds. But he did like green carnations, so maybe that would appeal to him.

I think perhaps the weekend, I might reveal the solution.

HarleyBarley 19 Nov 10 at 4:02 a.m. GMT

Oh, well - I've re-read the entire thing again, and either I've been blinded with my own "solution" or I simply do not know, but I see no possibility for words to have second meanings. Word-play is something I usually enjoy, but this once you have outwitted me (and perhaps even Oscar Wilde); I see no double meanings anywhere.

MissQuin 18 Nov 10 at 3:51 p.m. GMT

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MissQuin

Forgot to say Harley- well done on finding two of the clues, although theres one you haven't mentioned...

sorry harley, you did mention it, but not why it was being used in a certain way... It might not be clear til the solution is given.